


A severe miscalculation was made

by Cluelessly_weird



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Attempt at Humor, F/F, Post-Rebellion Story, Scheming, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-03-09 16:26:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18920737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cluelessly_weird/pseuds/Cluelessly_weird
Summary: If he could feel pride Kyubey would congratulate himself on coming up with this plan. After managing to scramble together a budget version of an isolation field. Hiding in a cave in one of his last bodies until Homura Akemi either went crazy or had been stopped by outside influence had allowed him to recollect himself from the curses that had been poured inside of him. Now that Homura had been defeated, it was time for him to move to a new planet and start over. What could possibly go wrong now?





	A severe miscalculation was made

If Kyubey could feel happiness he would certainly feel it right now. He had managed to escape from Homura Akemi's control. After he had finally managed to set up an isolation field around his current body, at the expense of the rest of them, he had opted to wait until the instability of Homura's mental state would prove fatal to her. That event had ultimately not come to pass due to meddling of the Law of Cycles, and her companions, but Homura Akemi had still left the physical universe in the end. So now he was free to do as he pleased again. Of course he was going to harvest a different, less emotionally unstable planet to avoid a repeat scenario. The time that would take to set up would be inconvenient but he estimated the universe had about six billion years left. More than sufficient time for him to start over.

"There you are, _Incubator_ "

_Abort! Abort! Homura Akemi had returned. The likelihood of imminent death is increasing rapidly. Objective: Return to the isolation field immediately. The survival of this unit is imperative to the universe's continuing existence._

"Where do you think you're going _Incubator_? I'm not done with you _quite yet_."

Kyubey watched as Homura Akemi, dressed in a horrifyingly familiar garment of feathers and wings, crushed the isolation field he had spent weeks to set up under her boot. The cave he had previously been hiding in began to fade away leaving him floating in a familiar void of psychedelic colors, Homura grabbing him uncomfortably by the neck. At least she was human sized now. That made her grip a bit less painful at least. He was still left fearing for the universe's, and by extension his own, life though.

"Homura Akemi. It would seem you have finally cornered me. I advice you to refrain from more pointless torture, as the probability of Madoka Kaname condoning animal cruelty is astronomically slim when accounting for her observed personality."

"Oh, that is just pathetic. The once unkillable monster is left begging for mercy. Such cheap manipulation won't work on me. I'm specifically here to punish you on behalf of all the girls you tricked. Because bad incubators get punished when they try to hurt people, especially if they try to hurt  _my Madoka_."

Kyubey was _almost_ scared to ask what that meant. Since he couldn't _actually_ feel any fear, ever, he absolutely  _had_ to ask.

The answer he received boiled down to him being about to be " _gifted_ " a swift torture session as " _payback for what you did to me and Madoka_ ". After which all the accumulated despair of the Law of Cycles would be forcefully implanted in his body. All in an effort to " _relieve Madoka of her pointless suffering_ ". Conclusion: He was going to die soon. He had to to avert this crisis, and fast.

"Putting that much despair in my body won't help the Law of Cycles in the long run. My soul would collapse within a week under the strain based on my estimates. It would be far more effective if you were to absorb and contain it yourself. Your current soul gem is based on a grief seed to a certain extent, after all."

"Quiet, Incubator. That's what I intend to do. I suggested that the moment I realised it was possible, but all of those _ungrateful_ magical girls fear I would get more power out of it and use it to try to overrule Madoka again." Homura Akemi squeezed Kyubey's neck in rage. "Those _selfish_  girls think it's better to have her take on all _their_ pain and let her _suffer_ needlessly, rather than give it to someone who can actually handle it! Disgusting."

"Interesting. If you dislike those girls so much, then why are you not taking your aggression out on them? What do you intend to do with me?"

"I'm _supposed_ to run an experiment to see if we could use _you_ as despair storage as a compromise, but I will simply lie and take all of Madoka's despair for myself. And when they realise I tricked them it will be too late, _fufu_. I'll absorb all of the despair Madoka took on so she will never have to suffer again!"

Now Kyubey was curious. "How did you convince them to let you specifically perform this procedure if they see you as such a risk?"

"Since the transfer could be quite dangerous to non-despair proof magical girls I managed to convince them I as demon should do this. That, and I'm the only one who can even _become_ part of reality at my own will, so they needed my help no matter what. _fufu._ "

"..."

"Oh. It will be amazing, _I_ _ncubator_. Hope buckles under pain, but love can become so much deeper and stronger because of is." Homura looked up with a star filled shine in her eyes. "Just imagine how much more I will love Madoka if I absorb all that despair. I can feel my body shaking in excitement just thinking about it."

The idea of love was still an unknown to Kyubey. At least he understood what madness looked like now. "Being obsessed with the idea of loving someone else even more. Truly you have lost your mind, Homura Akemi"

"As long as Madoka doesn't have to lose hers to despair everything is fine,  _fufu._ "

"Now then." Homura finally let go of Kyubey's neck, leaving him to float aimlessly. "Are you ready to witness _LOVE_?" Homura's eyes took on a manic shine. She pressed a finger on the salamander on her ear, as one would press an earphone. "I'm ready, Madoka. The experiment can start. You may send m- the Incubator his well-deserved punishment now."

Cutting off the link the demon closed her eyes and spread her arms and wings out as if wanting to fully bask in all the despair she was about to absorb. "I'm going to give you so much more love now Madoka! I'll make you the happiest girl in the universe! No matter what it takes!" 

_*Poof*_

"Huh?" Homura opened one of her eyes expecting a dark mass of despair, but only a piece of paper was seen floating in the void. "W-where's the despair? What's this letter doing here?

 

>   _Dear Homura-chan,_
> 
> _I was willing to overlook the odd '_ behavioural quirk' _from time to time, as I know you need to heal from everything you've been through, and I wanted to give you some space. But if you are going to try to trick me like this I'm going to have to hold an intervention._
> 
> _I'm truly sorry it has to be like this. I'm not opposed to you taking on my despair, but I have to respect the opinions of the other girls too. And they are not in favour. I am truly flattered you care about me this much, but you're taking this whole wanting to save me with love thing a bit_ too _far. Again._
> 
> _We'll brainstorm for some different ideas when your punishment is over. The despair really isn't that bad, so we can take our time figuring out a good solution, okay?_
> 
> _You'll be sleeping on the couch for the rest of the month._
> 
> _Your loving, upset and omnipresent girlfriend,_
> 
> _Madoka_

 

Homura's eyes widened in pure fear. "The couch... I have to sleep alone on the couch... Without Madoka? No! H-how will I give her the affection she deserves? Now she has to punish me at the cost of her own comfort! How could I have been so selfish!?"

"WHAT HAVE I DONE!"

Kyubey chose this moment to ask the demon one of his less intelligent questions: "Does this mean I get to live then?"

_"JUST SHUT UP!"_

**Author's Note:**

> Who miscalculated? Homura of course!
> 
> Seriously. If your girlfriend is a literal goddess you should probably not try to get away with things like this. Nothing good could ever come from trying to go behind their back.
> 
> Oh well, her funeral.
> 
> My first attempt at humor, ever. probably not that great, but I hope you enjoyed anyway ;)


End file.
